The light, the light!!!!

Gentle Readers,
I thought that my life had turned in the song that goes ---All the leaves are on the ground and the sky is grey---thank God that it's not anymore!! Today during the mass, these rays of light came through the windows and for the first time there has been sun. I was so happy to see the sun. Being a CA native has really, really made me appreiciate the sunlight. Yesterday it was pouring down rain and the cold, cold wind that some ex-East Coasters had told me about.

My mom continues to believe that I am melting into a puddle of tears. Gentle readers, I am doing well and only had the 1 bad day last week. I'm upset at my computer since it tries to convery my I tunes files into the stupid dell juke box but these are 1000 plated, gold quality problems. The superior and the asst were quite concerned to hear that my mom isnt taking this well so it was highly suggested to me that I call her--suggested like when a police officer suggests you to get out of the car. She was relieved to hear from me--I wonder if she thought that my voice box had been permanantly removed. It was a difficult conversation for me to have with her as she kept insinuating that I was sad, that I was upset and that I had moved all the way across the country to do something really hard. How in the world do I explain the concept of community to my mom who refuses to shake hands with people when she goes to the 730am, Roman Catholic mass and wont talk to anyone? I am in the midst of community both physical and emotional--from both coasts now. The phones and emails work for me. My friend the optimistic organist--if you know her, I hope you are laughing at her name!!--- told me that when someone makes a counter-cultural move that radically shifts their life around, it sends out these ripples that shake up others around that person and makes them look long and hard at their lives. It turns out that what she's really upset about is that my dad is talking to people about the life decision I have made and it got out to one of her friends what I was doing before mom could couch it in terms that were comfortable for her. My mom is someone who bases her self worth on how others view her and her kids. While all of my mom's friends brag about their kids being police officers, artists, writers, money makers, etc---- my mom used to get a big kick out of saying, "my daughter is a mexican high school teacher who works in the inner city of Los Angeles". This is not accurate but it gave her an edge up as she had a daughter who was educated at a highly ranked grad school and was now teaching the poor kids. In recounting to me how my father had spread the good news too far and too wide, Mom was saying, well now so and so knows and then so and so will find out. To make a long, long story very short---the phone call was very pastoral yet it made me sad to know that my mom probably will never understand what I am doing. She certainly didnt understand Africa so I wonder why I think she will get this. Perhaps the fact that the soon to be other postulant is having her mother at her reception service --which really isnt even a service but about 30 seconds before noon office. I'll type up the details later.

Before I race off to noon office, here's what I found in my mail box so you can get a glimpse of my day.

Daily Timetable: Monk_1975

6am --morning prayer
Meditation
7.30am Eucharist
Breakfast
8.45 am (brief check in with asst. superior )
9am community meeting
10-10.30 --intercessions (prayer for others ) at the appointed desk
12 noon ---Noon service
12.30 pm--Lunch or what is called here Dinner
2-4---Reading/Study/Class (Tuesday through Saturday)
5 pm Psalm Rehearsal
5.30 pm Evening Prayer
6pm Dinner
7.30---(Wednesday/Saturday) Choir Rehearsal
7.30pm (Friday) Community Time
8.10 --Community Silent Prayer in Chapel
8.30pm Compline/Night Service (Tuesday through Sat)
7.30pm Compline (Sunday)

Weekly Spiritual Direction/1 hour check in with Superior on Saturdays

DAy Off---Monday. You are free to do whatever and whenver you wish! Have fun.

As always, I remain,

monk_1975